A man and a woman are in divorce court fighting over custody of their children. The Judge can't be swayed either way so he decides to give each of them a minute to give their best argument as to why they should be given custody.
The woman starts and says to the Judge: "Your Honor, I carried those children for the 9 month pregnancy. Then I went through the pains of labor to bring them into this world. I should be given custody because of that."
The man stands up to speak and says: "Your Honor, if I put a dollar bill into a soda machine and out pops a soda, Who's soda is it? Mine or the machine's?"