Author Topic: Sexual Positions (Read 2343 times)

Skywalker · « **on:** July 28, 2006, 09:10:00 PM »

Let's list some of our favorites...

Rodeo: Be doing your girl doggystyle and have a friend jump out of the closet and see how long you can hold on.

Toboggen: Doggystyle at the top of the stairs facing down the stairs, yank out her front arms and ride her down the stairs.

I was thinking about these this morning and they made me laugh.

Bob · « **Reply #1 on:** July 28, 2006, 09:49:40 PM »

Ewww sex is gross.

Drew · « **Reply #2 on:** July 28, 2006, 11:37:39 PM »

It is a sure fire way to get cooties.

Gotta try the Angry Dragon. Jizz in her mouth then hold her mouth shut while you punch her in the back of the head. It comes out her nose like fire. That is the dragon part, I'm sure you can guess the angry part though.

Skywalker · « **Reply #3 on:** July 28, 2006, 11:53:00 PM »

Bah ha ha ha, you just made me spit my supper all over my desk.

Ryan · « **Reply #4 on:** July 30, 2006, 01:21:33 AM »

Some classics:

Cajun Hot Stick - Chew some tobacco, spit it on your dick and stick it up a girl's ass. Named this because chewing tobacco burns sensitive skin.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch - The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to force a large cold bottle of Coke into her mouth. Shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress any friends in the room.

Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers
deep into her starfish, then reach around and wipe the residue on her upper lip, providing her a mustache.

The Flaming Amazon - This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz!

The Houdini - Going at it doggy style until you are just about to come,
then pull out and spit hard, but quietly, on her back so she thinks that you have come. When she turns around unleash a blast into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering at what a great guy you are, and how you managed it.

Valsalva - The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.