Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - Skywalker

Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 8
61
Open Chat / Stuff to do before you die
« on: August 01, 2006, 04:40:34 PM »
What would you guys do if you happened to find out that you have cancer / the HIV / Gingivitis, and you only had a month or two to live?  And just for fun lets say you won the lottery the same day.

Top things for me:

Do every drug I could get my hands on… I figure it won’t matter if I fry my brain if I’ll be dieing anyways.  I’d want to see just how fucked up I could get… I’m talking forgetting how to speak, out of this world, shitting my pants kinda fucked up.  Then I’d go and drive my car around for fun.

Go on a bender like the world has never seen.  At least a good part of my last months would be spent going on a crazy shit stomping bender.  I’d likely not remember much so I’d pay a film crew to follow me and whoever decided to come with me.  I’d want to hit all of the good party spots in the world.  I’d party harder than a rock star… every hotel I’d stay at I’d rent at least two rooms so I would use the fire axe to hack a hole trough the wall from one to the other.  I would aim to be the biggest drunken ignorant bastard ever… because I’m dieing so I’m allowed to be bitter.  I would fight any hotel staffer that even looked at me the wrong way.  One room would be emptied of furniture from being thrown into the pool.  I’d also make sure to set fire to the curtains multiple times.  I’d pay for all my friends and also lots of hot girls to come on the adventure so I would have a drunken rowdy entourage everywhere I went.  I would try hard to drink enough to not be able to know what city/country I was in.  I’d buy some crappy houses too and throw the biggest parties ever and then just burn them down at the end of the night.

Blow lots of shit up!  Likely on my drunken bender in would I would end up in some 3rd world fiefdom or some Eastern European Stalinist countries.  There I would bribe the military to give me tanks and guns and bombs.  Then I would go on a rampage destroying everything in my path with reckless abandon.  The ruler of that country wouldn’t care because I would pay him a bunch of money.  I think I’d really like to take out an old apartment block… that’d be fun!  

Play Russian Roulette in some backroom shit hole club!  

And if that didn’t finish me off I would go skydiving naked with no chute.  I would try to land my body on the hood of a minivan.  Then I could permanently scar some children.

Ya, that’s about it… what about you guys?

62
Open Chat / Sexual Positions
« on: July 28, 2006, 09:10:00 PM »
Let's list some of our favorites...

Rodeo:  Be doing your girl doggystyle and have a friend jump out of the closet and see how long you can hold on.

Toboggen:  Doggystyle at the top of the stairs facing down the stairs, yank out her front arms and ride her down the stairs.

I was thinking about these this morning and they made me laugh.

63
Open Chat / Water and Beer Education
« on: July 28, 2006, 02:57:53 PM »
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water
each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1
kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words,
we are consuming 1 kilo of Poo.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking beer (or rum,
whiskey, wine or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a
distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
   
    WATER = POO
    BEER = HEALTH

Free yourself of Poo, drink BEER!!! It is better to drink beer and
talk shit than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am
doing it as a public service.

Have a nice day...  


64
Open Chat / Wrestling Masks
« on: July 28, 2006, 02:49:31 PM »
Any houseboationg people that still need a Wrasslin' Mask should go check out http://www.wrestlewarehouse.com/  they got some good masks for pretty cheap prices.  I just bought mine there... now all I need is some spandex pants and a shiny cape!

65
Open Chat / Edmonton Grand Prix
« on: July 22, 2006, 01:41:03 AM »
Here's a couple vids I took while getting sunburned today at the Edmonton Grand Prix.  So much better than working!  I'll post some more vids of qualifying and the actual race as the weekend continues.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=14...863391306&hl=en

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2...608906815&hl=en

The Champ Cars are pretty damm fast, but still don't compare to seeing the F1 cars drive in Montreal!

66
Open Chat / Frivolous Law Suits
« on: July 20, 2006, 04:43:29 PM »
Just about nothing pisses me off more than stupid people sueing over stupid things.  We've all heard of the McDonalds coffee fiasco.  So post any retarded lawsuits you come across here.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Daughter Who Surprised Mom With Birthday Visit Sues Parents

MADISON, Wis. -- An Illinois woman is suing her Wisconsin parents for maintaining an icy driveway that she blamed for a fall that broke her ankle two winters ago.

This week, a federal judge refused to toss out the lawsuit, setting up a trial for November.

Carriel Louah, 25, visited Darlington, Wis., to surprise her mother on her birthday in January 2005. But the next morning, she was injured when she slipped and fell on her parents' driveway. She filed suit against her parents earlier this year.


The daughter said that a letter from her mom apologizing months after the fall proves that her parents knew they had a defective gutter for years and did nothing about it.

She's seeking more than $75,000 in damages for medical bills and lost wages.

Her parents said that she can't prove the driveway was icy at the time or that their drainage system was faulty.

U.S. District Judge John Shabaz said that a jury should decide the matter.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Can the parents sue her for being a crappy daughter and not helping them fix the gutter or de-ice the driveway?  Or may be she can file another suit against them for having created such a useless waste of human skin?

67
Open Chat / Stampede Plans?
« on: July 06, 2006, 07:01:27 PM »
What is everyone's Stampede plans?  I'm trying to decide what weekend I should come home... this weekend or next.  I'd like to hit up the grounds and a beer garden at least one day.  I got'sta ride the reverse bungy too!

68
Open Chat / Being Fake
« on: June 22, 2006, 04:40:13 PM »
As I was reviewing my resume I was searching for words to describe the abilities I gained while working at Ceilis.  As I was thinking about it I realized that being fake was probably one of the things I learned there (of course I'm not putting that on my resume though).  

Luckily I don't have to use that skill much at my current job because I don't have to deal with many people outside of my department.  But at Ceilis I always had to be buddies with customers and know their names so that when they came into the bar with buddies/clients they would look like a big shot because the bartender knew them, or being nice to drunken idiots so that they would come again and spend lots of money getting hammered.

Anyways, I was wondering to what degree does your job require you to be fake... ie. being nice to customers when they ask retarded questions, or laughing at stupid jokes a client may make in order to gain their business, etc.  And are you good at it?

69
Open Chat / What could you take?
« on: June 19, 2006, 08:48:18 PM »
One of the drunken topics of conversation this weekend was what animal you think you could take in a fight if you only had a baseball bat to fight it with.  I am talking the biggest animal... like a fight to the death.

I think if I fought wisely I could take a black bear down in a long battle. One of Conrad's buddies said he could take a Gorilla... but I don't think so... those things are retarded strong and alot more agile than a bear.  Plus they have opposible thumbs.

What do you think you could take?


P.S. - Cole keep your mind out of the gutter, we all know you can take a 2L coke bottle, but thats another topic altogether.  

70
Open Chat / EWWWWW!!!!
« on: June 17, 2006, 02:26:35 AM »
Ok first of all I love art, and do consiter myself somewhat of an art buff; but what the fuck!  This isn't art... it's just stupid!   This just goes to prove that people that go to arts schools are a huge waste of human skin.  Uhhhh!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Art school serves up breast milk cocktail
Jun. 16, 2006. 08:44 AM
JUDY STOFFMAN
ENTERTAINMENT REPORTER


Mother's milk may be the healthiest food for babies, but is it art?

Yes, according to Jess Dobkin, a lesbian mother and artist who will present her work Lactation Station Breast Milk Bar on July 13 at the Ontario College of Art and Design, the institution of higher learning that a few years ago brought you vomiting as performance art.

The audience will be invited to sip during cocktail hours (5 to 8 p.m.) small cups of pasteurized breast milk donated by six lactating new mothers in the community. Dobkin has obtained a breast milk pasteurizer and will have the milk tested by a lab.

"I am taking all precautions," she said in an interview. "Donors have all been screened."

She is also designing a unique serving vessel for each woman. "I conducted interviews with all the donors and I worked with each to envision the appropriate serving device, the way different glasses are used for red or white wine. The vessel is designed to bring out the uniqueness of each woman's milk."

Following the "tasting," there will be an artist's talk and discussion.

Dobkin, who came to Toronto from New York, and has received grants from the Toronto Arts Council and the Ontario Arts Council, said in a news release she became interested in taboos surrounding breastfeeding.

"This project re-contextualizes something often regarded as indecent or repellent, offering a celebratory view," the 36-year-old said. "A substance that nourishes us in our infancy later becomes a curiosity in adulthood."

71
Open Chat / Shad Stuff
« on: June 17, 2006, 12:00:45 AM »
Gotta love Google... type in your first name and see what you get.


I'm a Fish and a Bush,
http://www.kids.state.ct.us/shad/aboutshad.htm
"The appearance of Shad in fresh food markets of Maritime Canada is a sure sign of spring. The traditional spring meal in New Brunswick is Shad and fiddleheads (young fern shoots). Although Shad are bony and considered difficult to eat, those who have the patience or know-how to properly prepare it realize it is a tasty fish. In fact, its scientific name sapidissima means "most delicious"."

I'm a Frog
http://www.finerareprints.com/print_detail...?stock_no=11475

I'm a Fly
http://www.shadfly.com/story.html

I'm a cult-like geek school called Shad Valley:
http://www.shad.ca/

I stand for "Support and Housing Assistance for People with Disabilities (SHAD)"

or a weapons program from the 60's  "Shipboard Hazard and Defense (SHAD)"
http://www.apfn.org/apfn/shad.htm

I'm a Tattoo guy:
http://www.tattoobyshad.com

I'm a Rapper (who is actually pretty good)
http://www.shadk.com/

And an NFL Football Player from Kansas (who actually looks a little like me)
http://www.nfl.com/players/playerpage/235120


So after wasting entirely too much time googling my name I don't feel so special anymore and am off to get drunk.

72
Open Chat / Yerba Mate
« on: June 13, 2006, 09:05:34 PM »
Anyone else ever tried this Yerba Maté stuff?  Our VP gets this shit imported from Paraguay and has gotten me kinda hooked on it.  You put a bunch of the dried herb into the cup, fill it with boiling water, and then drink it from a little filter straw.  He's always walking around the office with the little sippy cup.  

It kinda gives you a crazy caffeine high but without getting all shaky and nervous and stuff.  It's also nice because you don't crash once it's out of your system.  Aparently it's also better for your body than caffeine.

Try it sometime!

73
Open Chat / Stamps Vs. Esks
« on: June 09, 2006, 07:25:11 PM »
Anyone up for a roadtrip?

I can get tickets for the Saturday, June 24 (8:00 p.m)  Edmonton Eskimos vs. Calgary Stampeders game for 1/2 price if anyone is interested in getting out of Calgary for a weekend and watching some football.  There's no limit to how many tickets I can get if a few people want to come.

Let me know,
Shad

74
Open Chat / A Few Wheelin Pics
« on: June 03, 2006, 02:38:33 PM »
Some pics from the long weekend.

75
Open Chat / Venting!
« on: May 29, 2006, 08:28:49 PM »
Wholy crap!  Today has been the most useless boring day at work ever!  I hate not having stuff to do!  I've pretty much waited all day to meet with my boss to present a report to him, and to get assigned some more work.  Anyways he just cancelled on me and wants to do it tomorrow.  Argggh!  I've already been trying to get something to do from other people around the office, but I haven't been able to get much more than a few odd things.  I'd rather be super busy than have nothing to do anyday!  Now I have like 2 hours of work left and absolutely nothing to do.  There's only so many websites you can visit over and over again!

Do any of you ever have the same problem?  What do you do about it?  Or do you cherish having some time to piss around?

Allright!  That rant wasted a whole 5 minutes.

Pages: 1 ... 3 4 [5] 6 7 8