Author Topic: Dear Abby  (Read 1795 times)

Offline Drew

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Dear Abby
« on: December 18, 2005, 04:50:15 PM »
Dear Abby:

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel. Her time there is limited as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and hopefully, the heroin habits.

All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.

So.... Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some death to defy.