16
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
18
Open Chat / Do my homework
« on: April 02, 2006, 04:26:38 PM »
I need metaphors reflecting people.
Your task:
Each of you will come up with one (1) metaphor that reflects yourself. I need five metaphors in total.
(i.e.: I am a race jockey - I ride you hard and fast until I leave you on your knees and breathless.)
I thank you dearly, all of you. There are no limits to this assignment, anything goes!
Your task:
Each of you will come up with one (1) metaphor that reflects yourself. I need five metaphors in total.
(i.e.: I am a race jockey - I ride you hard and fast until I leave you on your knees and breathless.)
I thank you dearly, all of you. There are no limits to this assignment, anything goes!
20
Jokes / Rubber on your Stick.
« on: March 23, 2006, 05:41:24 PM »
Rubber on your stick
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus... so shut the hell up."
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus... so shut the hell up."
21
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.
23
Jokes / Names for the Shocker
« on: December 29, 2005, 05:09:13 AM »
Different names for the Shocker
"Checking her fever, with two in the beaver"
"Crimson: 2, Brown: 1."
"Dos en el hueco, con uno en el seco."
"Dos en el rosado, y uno en el morado."
"Dos en la crica, con uno en la pica."
"Dos en la hamaca, con uno en la caca."
"Going to town, with one in the brown."
"Phaser Finger"
"The Barracuda (Aus)"
"The Muckfish."
"Two at Yale, one at Brown."
"Two in her rut, one in her butt."
"Two in the 'ooh la la', one in the caca."
"Two in the baby maker, one in the patty caker."
"Two in the beav, with an ace up the sleeve."
"Two in the beaver, one in the cleaver."
"Two in the beaver, one where food leaves her."
"Two in the bird, one in the turd."
"Two in the blood, one in the mud."
"Two in the boat, one in the moat."
"Two in the bow, one in the stern."
"Two in the buckle, one in the knuckle."
"Two in the Bush, one in the Cheney."
"Two in the bush, one in the tush."
"Two in the byway, one in the hershey highway."
"Two in the cake, one in the pudding."
"Two in the camel toe, one in the anal hole."
"Two in the cat, one in the shat."
"Two in the cheese, one in the whiz."
"Two in the chink, one in the sphinc."
"Two in the chute, one in the glute."
"Two in the clam, one in the SHAZAAM"
"Two in the clanker, one in the spanker."
"Two in the cockpit, one where the jock sits."
"Two in the coin slot, one in the balloon knot."
"Two in the condom muncher, one in the donkey puncher."
"Two in the coo, one in the poo."
"Two in the coot, one in the boot."
"Two in the coot, one in the chute."
"Two in the cooter, one in the poop shooter."
"Two in the cooter, one in the pooter."
"Two in the cootie, one in the booty."
"Two in the crack, one out back."
"Two in the creamer, one in the steamer."
"Two in the crown, one in the brown."
"Two in the cummer, one in the bummer."
"Two in the curtains, one in the hurtin's."
"Two in the dream, one in the scream."
"Two in the entertainer, one in the panty stainer."
"Two in the fast lane, one past the shit stain."
"Two in the flap, one out back."
"Two in the flaps, one in the craps."
"Two in the flower, one in the mud."
"Two in the fowl, one in the bowel."
"Two in the fucker, one in the cucker."
"Two in the furry, one in the curry."
"Two in the g-spot, one in the balloon knot"
"Two in the gap, one in the crap."
"Two in the gash, one in the ass."
"Two in the gine, one in the brown dime"
"Two in the gear, one in the rear."
"Two in the go, one in the no."
"Two in the goo, one in the poo."
"Two in the good time, one up the shit line."
"Two in the grass, one in the ass."
"Two in the grassy knoll, one in the assy hole."
"Two in the gum, one in the bum."
"Two in the gyney, one in the hiney."
"Two in the hair, one in the derriere."
"Two in the hair pie, one in the brown eye."
"Two in the ham, one in the God Damn!"
"Two in the heinous, one in the anus."
"Two in the hole, one in the... other hole."
"Two in the honey, one in the bunny."
"Two in the hoo-ha, one in the booya!"
"Two in the hoo hoo, one in the poo poo."
"Two in the hooty, one in the booty."
"Two in the Hot Pocket, one in the shit socket."
"Two in the hottie, one in the pottie."
"Two in the hump, one in the dump."
"Two in the I see what you did there, one in the loo."
"Two in the jam, one in the ram."
"Two in the jelly, one in the smelly."
"Two in the juice, one in the caboose."
"Two in the junk, one in the trunk."
"Two in the kitty, one in the shitty."
"Two in the lube, one in the tube."
"Two in the main floor, one in the out door."
"Two in the meat pie, one in the brown eye."
"Two in the meat, one in the seat."
"Two in the monkey, one in the chunky."
"Two in the muenster, one in the bun, sir"
"Two in the muff, one in the rough."
"Two in the mung, one in the bung."
"Two in the num num, one in the bum bum."
"Two in the O-range, one in the No-range."
"Two in the one, one in the two."
"Two in the paris, one in the hilton."
"Two in the pee, one you can't see."
"Two in the pee pee, one in the cheechee."
"Two in the pie, one saying goodbye."
"Two in the pink, one in the doo doo hole."
"Two in the pink, one in the stink." (original, and most widely
used)
"Two in the pink, one in the stink, and the thumb twiddles the bean."
"Two in the pink, sir, one in the sphincter"
"Two in the pipe, one in the can."
"Two in the pookey, one in the dookie."
"Two in the poon, one in the moon."
"Two in the pumper, one in the dumper."
"Two in the puss, one in the boot."
"Two in the queefer, one in the reefer."
"Two in the randy, one in the dandy."
"Two in the roll, one in the hole."
"Two in the saddle, one in the paddle."
"Two in the sexit, one in the exit."
"Two in the shock, one in the awe."
"Two in the skank, one in the stank."
"Two in the skunk, one in the trunk."
"Two in the slime, one in the crime."
"Two in the slit, one in the shit."
"Two in the sludge, one in the fudge."
"Two in the slut, one in the butt."
"Two in the slutter, one in the poop cutter."
"Two in the snail, one in the tail."
"Two in the snatch, one up the hatch."
"Two in the snapper, one in the crapper."
"Two in the snapper, one in the starfish."
"Two in the split, one where she shits."
"Two in the squirt, one in the dirt."
"Two in the super, one in the pooper."
"Two in the taco, one in the guaco."
"Two in the taint, one in the ain't."
"Two in the tank, one in the bank."
"Two in the tank, one up her crank."
"Two in the tart, one in the fart."
"Two in the thump, one in the rump."
"Two in the tootsie, one in the roll."
"Two in the trap, one in the crap."
"Two in the treat, one in the seat."
"Two in the track, one in the back."
"Two in the twat, one in the brown spot."
"Two in the valley, one up the alley."
"Two in the whore, one in the backdoor."
"Two in the winker, one in the sphincter."
"Two in the winner, one in the dinner."
"Two in the womb, one in the tomb."
"Two inside a woman's vagina, one inside a woman's rectum" (medical terminology)
"Two near the clit, one in the shit."
"Two near the tampon, one pops the fart bomb."
"Two scoops of strawberry, one scoop of chocolate."
"Two to consumate, one to constipate."
"Two up the fly, one in the brown eye."
"Two where it's foul, one in the bowel."
"Two where it's hairy, one where it's scary."
"Two where the cocks cum, one where she talks from."
"Two where the meat goes, one where the heat blows."
"Two where they're born, one where there's corn."
"Two where she catches cocks, one in her fartbox."
"Two where she hits it, one where she shits it."
"Two where she humps, one where she dumps."
"Two where she menstruates, one where she defecates."
"Two where she peeces, one where she feces."
"Two where she queefs, one underneath."
"Two where she spits, one where she shits."
"Two where you fark her, one where it's darker."
"Two where you hump, one in the rump."
"Two where you should, one where you could."
"Two in the stern, one in the bow."
"Two where it's moot, and one where she'll shoot."
"Two in her vaginal opening, one where it needs soaping."
"Two in the crumb, one in the bum."
"Two in the sponge, and one where you plunge."
"Two in the bake, and out comes the cake!"
"Two in the baby maker, one in the brownie baker
"Two in the Hootie, One in the Blowfish"
"Checking her fever, with two in the beaver"
"Crimson: 2, Brown: 1."
"Dos en el hueco, con uno en el seco."
"Dos en el rosado, y uno en el morado."
"Dos en la crica, con uno en la pica."
"Dos en la hamaca, con uno en la caca."
"Going to town, with one in the brown."
"Phaser Finger"
"The Barracuda (Aus)"
"The Muckfish."
"Two at Yale, one at Brown."
"Two in her rut, one in her butt."
"Two in the 'ooh la la', one in the caca."
"Two in the baby maker, one in the patty caker."
"Two in the beav, with an ace up the sleeve."
"Two in the beaver, one in the cleaver."
"Two in the beaver, one where food leaves her."
"Two in the bird, one in the turd."
"Two in the blood, one in the mud."
"Two in the boat, one in the moat."
"Two in the bow, one in the stern."
"Two in the buckle, one in the knuckle."
"Two in the Bush, one in the Cheney."
"Two in the bush, one in the tush."
"Two in the byway, one in the hershey highway."
"Two in the cake, one in the pudding."
"Two in the camel toe, one in the anal hole."
"Two in the cat, one in the shat."
"Two in the cheese, one in the whiz."
"Two in the chink, one in the sphinc."
"Two in the chute, one in the glute."
"Two in the clam, one in the SHAZAAM"
"Two in the clanker, one in the spanker."
"Two in the cockpit, one where the jock sits."
"Two in the coin slot, one in the balloon knot."
"Two in the condom muncher, one in the donkey puncher."
"Two in the coo, one in the poo."
"Two in the coot, one in the boot."
"Two in the coot, one in the chute."
"Two in the cooter, one in the poop shooter."
"Two in the cooter, one in the pooter."
"Two in the cootie, one in the booty."
"Two in the crack, one out back."
"Two in the creamer, one in the steamer."
"Two in the crown, one in the brown."
"Two in the cummer, one in the bummer."
"Two in the curtains, one in the hurtin's."
"Two in the dream, one in the scream."
"Two in the entertainer, one in the panty stainer."
"Two in the fast lane, one past the shit stain."
"Two in the flap, one out back."
"Two in the flaps, one in the craps."
"Two in the flower, one in the mud."
"Two in the fowl, one in the bowel."
"Two in the fucker, one in the cucker."
"Two in the furry, one in the curry."
"Two in the g-spot, one in the balloon knot"
"Two in the gap, one in the crap."
"Two in the gash, one in the ass."
"Two in the gine, one in the brown dime"
"Two in the gear, one in the rear."
"Two in the go, one in the no."
"Two in the goo, one in the poo."
"Two in the good time, one up the shit line."
"Two in the grass, one in the ass."
"Two in the grassy knoll, one in the assy hole."
"Two in the gum, one in the bum."
"Two in the gyney, one in the hiney."
"Two in the hair, one in the derriere."
"Two in the hair pie, one in the brown eye."
"Two in the ham, one in the God Damn!"
"Two in the heinous, one in the anus."
"Two in the hole, one in the... other hole."
"Two in the honey, one in the bunny."
"Two in the hoo-ha, one in the booya!"
"Two in the hoo hoo, one in the poo poo."
"Two in the hooty, one in the booty."
"Two in the Hot Pocket, one in the shit socket."
"Two in the hottie, one in the pottie."
"Two in the hump, one in the dump."
"Two in the I see what you did there, one in the loo."
"Two in the jam, one in the ram."
"Two in the jelly, one in the smelly."
"Two in the juice, one in the caboose."
"Two in the junk, one in the trunk."
"Two in the kitty, one in the shitty."
"Two in the lube, one in the tube."
"Two in the main floor, one in the out door."
"Two in the meat pie, one in the brown eye."
"Two in the meat, one in the seat."
"Two in the monkey, one in the chunky."
"Two in the muenster, one in the bun, sir"
"Two in the muff, one in the rough."
"Two in the mung, one in the bung."
"Two in the num num, one in the bum bum."
"Two in the O-range, one in the No-range."
"Two in the one, one in the two."
"Two in the paris, one in the hilton."
"Two in the pee, one you can't see."
"Two in the pee pee, one in the cheechee."
"Two in the pie, one saying goodbye."
"Two in the pink, one in the doo doo hole."
"Two in the pink, one in the stink." (original, and most widely
used)
"Two in the pink, one in the stink, and the thumb twiddles the bean."
"Two in the pink, sir, one in the sphincter"
"Two in the pipe, one in the can."
"Two in the pookey, one in the dookie."
"Two in the poon, one in the moon."
"Two in the pumper, one in the dumper."
"Two in the puss, one in the boot."
"Two in the queefer, one in the reefer."
"Two in the randy, one in the dandy."
"Two in the roll, one in the hole."
"Two in the saddle, one in the paddle."
"Two in the sexit, one in the exit."
"Two in the shock, one in the awe."
"Two in the skank, one in the stank."
"Two in the skunk, one in the trunk."
"Two in the slime, one in the crime."
"Two in the slit, one in the shit."
"Two in the sludge, one in the fudge."
"Two in the slut, one in the butt."
"Two in the slutter, one in the poop cutter."
"Two in the snail, one in the tail."
"Two in the snatch, one up the hatch."
"Two in the snapper, one in the crapper."
"Two in the snapper, one in the starfish."
"Two in the split, one where she shits."
"Two in the squirt, one in the dirt."
"Two in the super, one in the pooper."
"Two in the taco, one in the guaco."
"Two in the taint, one in the ain't."
"Two in the tank, one in the bank."
"Two in the tank, one up her crank."
"Two in the tart, one in the fart."
"Two in the thump, one in the rump."
"Two in the tootsie, one in the roll."
"Two in the trap, one in the crap."
"Two in the treat, one in the seat."
"Two in the track, one in the back."
"Two in the twat, one in the brown spot."
"Two in the valley, one up the alley."
"Two in the whore, one in the backdoor."
"Two in the winker, one in the sphincter."
"Two in the winner, one in the dinner."
"Two in the womb, one in the tomb."
"Two inside a woman's vagina, one inside a woman's rectum" (medical terminology)
"Two near the clit, one in the shit."
"Two near the tampon, one pops the fart bomb."
"Two scoops of strawberry, one scoop of chocolate."
"Two to consumate, one to constipate."
"Two up the fly, one in the brown eye."
"Two where it's foul, one in the bowel."
"Two where it's hairy, one where it's scary."
"Two where the cocks cum, one where she talks from."
"Two where the meat goes, one where the heat blows."
"Two where they're born, one where there's corn."
"Two where she catches cocks, one in her fartbox."
"Two where she hits it, one where she shits it."
"Two where she humps, one where she dumps."
"Two where she menstruates, one where she defecates."
"Two where she peeces, one where she feces."
"Two where she queefs, one underneath."
"Two where she spits, one where she shits."
"Two where you fark her, one where it's darker."
"Two where you hump, one in the rump."
"Two where you should, one where you could."
"Two in the stern, one in the bow."
"Two where it's moot, and one where she'll shoot."
"Two in her vaginal opening, one where it needs soaping."
"Two in the crumb, one in the bum."
"Two in the sponge, and one where you plunge."
"Two in the bake, and out comes the cake!"
"Two in the baby maker, one in the brownie baker
"Two in the Hootie, One in the Blowfish"
25
Jokes / How many Calgarian forum users does it take
« on: December 09, 2005, 03:27:59 AM »
Ha, robbed from another forum, with a tweaked question.
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
1 to move it to the Lighting section
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
5 to flame the spell checkers
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again
26
Open Chat / Trev Hefner?
« on: November 17, 2005, 01:34:40 AM »
Heh, fun little game Bob found.
Trev Hefner, catchy...
Trev Hefner, catchy...
27
Open Chat / Where the hell did everyone go?
« on: October 24, 2005, 11:24:02 PM »
It was but one week ago that this board was thriving with Calgarians alike, and now, it's dead? You should be ashamed of yourselves, each and every last one of you! Bob poured heart and soul into this, and what do you do?! Nothing, abso-freakin'-lutely nothing!
So, I, Pornomonkey, will take the liberty to whore these threads to support the Gongshow cause! Seeing as to how you overly 'busy' people do not put forth an effort!
(P.S. This is solely written out of boredom, it does not reflect my own thoughts and/or opinions towards Calgarians.)
So, I, Pornomonkey, will take the liberty to whore these threads to support the Gongshow cause! Seeing as to how you overly 'busy' people do not put forth an effort!
(P.S. This is solely written out of boredom, it does not reflect my own thoughts and/or opinions towards Calgarians.)
