16
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17
Website Bulletins / Flash Games
« on: April 25, 2007, 02:54:49 AM »
The site is now equipped with some flash games to pass your time. (Check out the games button the main header)
If people have more games that they like let me know and I'll see if we can get them here.
Cheers,
Bob
If people have more games that they like let me know and I'll see if we can get them here.
Cheers,
Bob
18
Open Chat / All this New Jazz
« on: April 16, 2007, 04:08:03 AM »
Ok so as most of you have noticed we have a new version of the forum. I am working on skins and I already have the shoutbox up. There will be a few new addons and things I can do after that so I will make a poll in the next week or two and we can decide what else to add.
The Gallery is toast for now until I can find a new version of the software to go with the new version of the forum.
Your profile pictures are toast now as well, but everyone should take a look at their profiles and update the info on it. The new profile system in this version is pretty cool.
FINALLY, this should end the spam bots. Until they get upgraded to make putty out of the new version of the forum.
If you notice any errors or things not working let me know.
Cheers,
Bob
The Gallery is toast for now until I can find a new version of the software to go with the new version of the forum.
Your profile pictures are toast now as well, but everyone should take a look at their profiles and update the info on it. The new profile system in this version is pretty cool.
FINALLY, this should end the spam bots. Until they get upgraded to make putty out of the new version of the forum.
If you notice any errors or things not working let me know.
Cheers,
Bob
20
Open Chat / Good Morning Bobby
« on: February 27, 2007, 05:08:27 PM »
Yawn... I wake up.. Approximate time 7:04am. The tv is still on from the night before on and some god awful show is on that is annoying me even at quiet volumes. I turn off the tv. I fall in and out of consciousness for the next 20 minutes refusing to start the day and doing whatever I can to trick myself into believing if I pretend to sleep long enough maybe I wont have to go to work. I relent at around 7:17am. I gather some clothes that I plan on wearing for the day and put them in the bathroom. Boxers, beater, socks. All the usual suspects. I start the water in the shower so it will be nice and warm for when I get in out of the cold from starting my vehicle. I throw on a hoodie and some pants. I go outside. My vehicle is covered in a layer of snow from the night before. I make my way to it thinking of my toasty warm shower waiting for me, and what will be my toasty warm vehicle after it has run for 15 minutes. Life is good. I unlock the door and reach in to the ignition. The morning goes downhill. Yes, I realize I deserve a Darwin Award for this one. That is pretty much the reason I am so pissed off about this whole situation and require venting via the gong show. My Jeep starts without having to push the clutch in. Awesome feature eh? Not so much. Many, many times I have gone to start my Jeep and it has been left in gear, it lurches forward a bit, I take it out of gear, no worries. I always start my Jeep standing outside of it because I am too lazy to haul my ass into it when I don't have to. I turn the key. Reminiscent of Stephen King's Christine the vehicle instantly jumps to life. It moves forward. I reach for the shifter trying to throw it into neutral. It isn't so easy because it is moving in gear and I can't push the clutch in because my lazy ass is standing outside the Jeep if you recall. My Jeep slows down via impact. I take two hands and jerk the shifter into neutral. Crap. I have struck something. Hmm wasn't Jami's car parked in front of me? Double crap. Now having not hit the throttle at all the movement of the vehicle was quite slow. I am thinking some scuffs and whatnot probably some re-painting. What an inconvenience. Enter Satan and his cursed inventions, the bush bumper and the winch. I walk around the front of the Jeep to see I have pushed Jami's car about a foot an a half forward, collapsed her trunk enough that you could see inside of it, toasted a taillight and folder the corner of her rear fender. High five for me.
Jeep & Bush Bumper - 1
Me - 0
Jami's car - Injury Reserve
Jeep & Bush Bumper - 1
Me - 0
Jami's car - Injury Reserve
21
Jokes / A koala is sitting up a gum tree..
« on: February 07, 2007, 07:07:00 AM »
A koala is sitting up a gum tree
[attachmentid=1184]
smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says
[attachmentid=1185]
“Hey Koala! What are you doing?”
The koala says: “Smoking a joint,come up and have some.”
So the little lizard climbs up and sits nextto the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is “dry” and is going to get a drink from the river.
But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: “What’s the matter with you?”
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, “Hey you!”
[attachmentid=1186]
So the koala looks down at him and says:
[attachmentid=1187]
“Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude… How much water did you drink?!!”
[attachmentid=1184]
smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says
[attachmentid=1185]
“Hey Koala! What are you doing?”
The koala says: “Smoking a joint,come up and have some.”
So the little lizard climbs up and sits nextto the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is “dry” and is going to get a drink from the river.
But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: “What’s the matter with you?”
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, “Hey you!”
[attachmentid=1186]
So the koala looks down at him and says:
[attachmentid=1187]
“Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude… How much water did you drink?!!”
22
Open Chat / 2007 SuperBowl XLI Commercials
« on: February 06, 2007, 06:38:25 AM »
Here are my votes on the best from Bud Light, E-trade and so on.
Blockbuster SupeBowl Commercial - Pet Shop
Bud Light - Rock, Paper, Scissors
Sierra Mist Beard Combover
Bud Light Carlos Mencia
Career Builder Superbowl Commercials
Bud light "hitcher" commercial (he's got an axe)
E-Trade Wasted $2 Million Bucks
E-Trade Bank Robbing
Bud Light Auction Wedding
FedEx Moon Office
KFed Nation Wide - Fries Commercial
But Light - Slap is in
GTA COKE AD GIVE A LITTLE LOVE
Blockbuster SupeBowl Commercial - Pet Shop
Bud Light - Rock, Paper, Scissors
Sierra Mist Beard Combover
Bud Light Carlos Mencia
Career Builder Superbowl Commercials
Bud light "hitcher" commercial (he's got an axe)
E-Trade Wasted $2 Million Bucks
E-Trade Bank Robbing
Bud Light Auction Wedding
FedEx Moon Office
KFed Nation Wide - Fries Commercial
But Light - Slap is in
GTA COKE AD GIVE A LITTLE LOVE
23
Stuff For Sale / Hitmen Tickets
« on: January 22, 2007, 08:36:43 PM »
Anyone want to go to a Hitmen game? $5/ticket Proceeds going to charity....
Got 100 tickets to each of the last 5 home games. All in a row, well about 3 or 4 rows to each game.
Cheap Cheap!*
* - Beer not included.
Got 100 tickets to each of the last 5 home games. All in a row, well about 3 or 4 rows to each game.
Cheap Cheap!*
* - Beer not included.
25
Jokes / Up or Down?
« on: January 02, 2007, 08:58:24 PM »
UP OR DOWN SEX
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.
Since both of them were widowed,they decided to go fishing together the next day.! The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!
When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.
He again asked the lady, "Up or down ?"
There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.!
She said yes and there they were the ! next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down ?"
The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon
another fork in the river and he asked the lady,"Up or down ?"
She replied, "Up."
This really confused the gentleman so he asked,
"What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made made passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"
She replied, "Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown."
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.
Since both of them were widowed,they decided to go fishing together the next day.! The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!
When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.
He again asked the lady, "Up or down ?"
There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.!
She said yes and there they were the ! next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down ?"
The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon
another fork in the river and he asked the lady,"Up or down ?"
She replied, "Up."
This really confused the gentleman so he asked,
"What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made made passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"
She replied, "Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were fuck or drown."
26
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. A human has around 10,000.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that . )
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. A human has around 10,000.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that . )
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
28
Open Chat / Will it Blend?
« on: November 18, 2006, 11:12:51 PM »
Funny we were just talking about this Andrew.
http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?typ...fe&video=mcmeal
http://www.willitblend.com/videos.aspx?typ...fe&video=mcmeal
29
Jokes / I wish my friends could do this.
« on: November 18, 2006, 10:53:51 PM »
Best booze commercial ever!
30
Open Chat / The Explosion of the Gong Show
« on: November 02, 2006, 02:21:33 AM »
It is being caused by a moving of the server from ThePlanet Datacenter to a new server at Softlayer’s Datacentre. I was promised that the move would have 0 downtime and therefore I did not send out any email to warn users of it.
NEW SERVER SPECS: ( I KNOW YOU ARE ALL EXCITED )
Processor Information
Processor #1 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #1 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #1 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #1 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #2 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #2 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #2 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #2 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #3 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #3 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #3 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #3 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #4 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #4 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #4 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #4 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #5 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #5 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #5 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #5 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #6 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #6 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #6 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #6 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #7 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #7 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #7 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #7 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #8 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #8 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #8 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #8 cache size: 2048 KB
Memory Information
Memory: 8306756k/9437184k available (1877k kernel code, 80160k reserved, 759k data, 184k init, 7470464k highmem)
System Information
Linux server2.requestdns.com 2.6.9-42.0.3.ELsmp #1 SMP Mon Sep 25 17:28:02 EDT 2006 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
Physcial Disks
hdb: MATSHITADVD-ROM SR-8178, ATAPI CD/DVD-ROM drive
hdb: ATAPI 24X DVD-ROM drive, 256kB Cache, UDMA(33)
Current Disk Usage
Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on
/dev/sda5 2.0G 234M 1.7G 13% /
/dev/sda1 99M 17M 77M 19% /boot
none 4.0G 0 4.0G 0% /dev/shm
/dev/sda7 635G 72G 531G 12% /home
/dev/sda3 25G 3.5G 20G 15% /usr
/dev/sda2 25G 4.5G 19G 19% /var
/usr/tmpDSK 485M 30M 430M 7% /tmp
/tmp 485M 30M 430M 7% /var/tmp
NEW SERVER SPECS: ( I KNOW YOU ARE ALL EXCITED )
Processor Information
Processor #1 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #1 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #1 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #1 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #2 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #2 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #2 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #2 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #3 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #3 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #3 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #3 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #4 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #4 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #4 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #4 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #5 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #5 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #5 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #5 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #6 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #6 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #6 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #6 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #7 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #7 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #7 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #7 cache size: 2048 KB
Processor #8 Vendor: GenuineIntel
Processor #8 Name: Intel® Xeon CPU 3.00GHz
Processor #8 speed: 3001.385 MHz
Processor #8 cache size: 2048 KB
Memory Information
Memory: 8306756k/9437184k available (1877k kernel code, 80160k reserved, 759k data, 184k init, 7470464k highmem)
System Information
Linux server2.requestdns.com 2.6.9-42.0.3.ELsmp #1 SMP Mon Sep 25 17:28:02 EDT 2006 i686 i686 i386 GNU/Linux
Physcial Disks
hdb: MATSHITADVD-ROM SR-8178, ATAPI CD/DVD-ROM drive
hdb: ATAPI 24X DVD-ROM drive, 256kB Cache, UDMA(33)
Current Disk Usage
Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on
/dev/sda5 2.0G 234M 1.7G 13% /
/dev/sda1 99M 17M 77M 19% /boot
none 4.0G 0 4.0G 0% /dev/shm
/dev/sda7 635G 72G 531G 12% /home
/dev/sda3 25G 3.5G 20G 15% /usr
/dev/sda2 25G 4.5G 19G 19% /var
/usr/tmpDSK 485M 30M 430M 7% /tmp
/tmp 485M 30M 430M 7% /var/tmp