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Topics - Aquabat

Pages: 1 [2]
16
Jokes / Cyanide and Happiness
« on: April 27, 2006, 11:04:07 PM »
There are great cartoons!

Hahahaha, the third one goes out to Mikey

17
Jokes / Retirement Home
« on: March 10, 2006, 06:19:59 AM »
3 old men are sitting around the retirement home, complaining.
    "I wish I could piss without pain," the first old man says.
    "Quit your whining, I'm so constipated I never have a regular bowel movement anymore," says the second man.
    "That's nothing," the third man says.  "Every morning I have a long pee at 6:00, then I have a regular bowel movement at 6:30."
    "Then what the hell are you complaining about?" the first man asks.
The third man replies "I don't wake up until 7:00."

18
Events / Soccer Sunday
« on: July 29, 2005, 10:47:36 PM »
This was a message posted by Shad via e-mail.

"Hey,
I'm having some peeps over here at my place on Sunday (July31) for a bit of
pick-up soccer and then a BBQ to follow (drinking will take place
throughout).  Anyways the more peeps we have the better it'll be.  I'm
thinking of around 4-5 pm for a start time.

-Shad"

Be There, SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY.

Oh, and while I'm at it, a sweet pic of McLeod Trail. as the cops drove by.

19
Open Chat / Loser Pissed
« on: May 17, 2005, 06:39:29 AM »
This was an e-mail that I sent out after Neals birthday, I was asked to post this for others to enjoy as I can't wait to get loser pissed again, all of these are true stories that evolved out of Bermuda Shorts Day or Neals' Birthday

If you look up the Funk&Stoy&Lastiwka&Maess&Shannon&Maxwell&Wagnall definition of loser drunk, it will be described as follows:
 
loser pissed  (lzr pst)  adjective
 
1) Delirious with or as if with strong drink; intoxicated so badly that one thinks he/she may be able to defy gravity perhaps say off the roof of large suburbanite SUV type vehicles.
 
2) Delirious with or as if with strong drink; intoxicated so badly that one may lose all internal organs as they are attracted to linoleum or tile floor through the esophagus as an root of exit with the least resistance.
 
3) Delirious with or as if with strong drink; intoxicated so badly that one may lose its perception to the point where the distance between a bottle and one's face.  Such a loser pissed state may result in tooth loss and emergency surgery by care of pliers.
 
and lastly the final entry is:
 
4) Delirious with or as if with strong drink; intoxicated so badly that one may lose all motor functions and bowel control to the extent that one may need to find rest in the common street planter and may require the use of a diaper.  
 
Diaper (This one is real http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=diaper
(d-pr, dpr) noun
A folded piece of absorbent material, such as paper or cloth, that is placed between a baby's legs and fastened at the waist to contain excretions.
A similar piece of material, worn by incontinent adults

Happy Birthday Neal!!!  I hope to take all your money soon in another poker match.

-Steve

20
Jokes / Post Your Movies Here
« on: February 05, 2005, 09:14:19 AM »
Post your movies here within one folder to keep them together, here's a gooder to start things off.

Oh Evolution.

21
Events / Birfday/Soccer/PunkShow
« on: January 03, 2005, 03:19:43 AM »
Wednesday, January 5th - Steve's Actual Birthday.  Wings at the St.George and Dragon.  Also, a Tomcats (insert new team name here) meeting about a winter season for recreational, co-ed, indoor.


Friday, January 7th.  Steve's Birthday Shenanigans.  At The Black Swan, PunkShow.  Featuring The Failure, Midpoint and Glory Nights.  I've got coupons for tickets, contact me.  Show starts at like 9:30 or so.  See You There.

Wanna Get Into The Crowd, Wanna Hear It Played Real Loud,

Steve
 :punk:

22
Open Chat / Pretty Lady of the Day (or ladies)
« on: November 25, 2004, 06:11:41 AM »
I think we've had a major oversight, We've had jokes, events of the day, so allow me to introduce "Pretty Lady of the Day" but we are not limited to just one, sometimes they like to come in pairs.  So here is the new thread devoted to the most beautiful thing on earth, the female body.

(sorry, the first one is kind of a huge pic)

23
Stuff For Sale / Leftover Inventory
« on: November 25, 2004, 12:39:02 AM »
Got some leftover inventory if anyone is interested from Open For Business November 2004.  Sorry for peddling my shat.  It's all like at cost, or just about.  

Kitty BeltBuckle  $35
RecordHole Buckle $16
Star Wristband $15
Goggle Spikes 2 for $2.50
Dice BeltBuckle $15
And I got 4 zippo-like lighters left as well. Only $10 each.

Once again, sorry for peddling shit, this is just a chance for someone to get some stuff, cuz otherwise it'll sit in my basement till March, the next Open For Business.

Sanks,

Steve

24
Open Chat / The World really has gotten fatter
« on: September 20, 2004, 06:04:57 PM »
I thought I'd leave you with this to think about.
 :usa: Fat Yankees.

25
Jokes / Udderly Impossible
« on: September 05, 2004, 09:26:31 PM »
After years of milking cows with the traditional stool-and-squirt method,
Farmer Giles finds he has enough money to order a high-tech milking machine. The equipment arrives a few days later and, realising his wife is out for the day, decides to test the machine on himself first. :hump:

After setting it up, he quickly eases his beef bayonet into the equipment and flicks the switch. The sucking teat pleasures him better than his wife ever could, but when it's over the machine will not release his member. In desperation, the farmer calls the Customer Service Hotline. "Hello," he winces, "I've just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but, er, how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"

"Don't worry." Replies the rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."

26
Jokes / I should've used this line...
« on: July 04, 2004, 04:18:48 AM »
A female police officer arrested a guy for drunk driving.  She said, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
     
    The inebriated man shouted out, "TITS!"

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