I didn't look over the last 50 or however many there are, but I think these are mostly all new:
World War II ended when Chuck Norris farted in a jar and threw it at Japan.
Chuck Norris is God's apology for creating Mexicans
The only time Chuck Norris was confused was after watching the Stephen Seagal movie "Nico". Still to this day, he cannot figure out, why a rival action hero chooses to run like a schoolgirl with wet knickers
Chuck Norris goes to bed with morning wood
Chuck Norris got drunk at a bar and passed out. Luckily, his beard called him a cab, directed the driver to the correct address, and finally roundhouse kicked its way through Norris' front door. When Chuck awoke the next morning, he noticed breakfast and the daily paper by his bedside. Chucks beard thanks god for every day it remains unshaven and continues to recognize who it works for.
For every time Chuck Norris kills a man, an angel gets its wings. For every time a puppy dies, Chuck Norris laughs.
Chuck Norris's dick is the reason why Dakota Fanning's teeth are so messed up (take note:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0266824/)Chuck Norris got banned from the state of Florida after he roundhouse kicked a dolphin at Seaworld
When Chuck Norris takes a crap it lifts him up off the seat about 2 feet, he then has an Asian break it up with a pickaxe in order to flush it.
Chuck Norris sang the theme song to Walker, Texas Ranger. The difference between this and other facts? It's true
Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas
Chuck Norris wipes twice without looking at the TP.
Chuck Norris is both blessed and cursed with the ability to destroy anything by merely by looking at it. To prevent this from happening, Chuck personally removed his eyes and now uses Bob Saget as the stick blind persons use to locate objects in their path.
Chuck Norris does not have pubic hair, he has a groin beard.
When Chuck Norris got lost in the mountains one time, he used is own pubic hair as kindling for a fire.
Chuck Norris once ate a three month old baby and then pooped him out the same day as a full grown man. His name you ask...? Abraham Lincoln. Abe later went on to end slavery and go on a beard promotion tour throughout the United States.
The Video Game company "Nintendo" was founded by Chuck Norris when he gave birth to a "Nintendo Entertainment System" after swallowing several Asian businessman whole.
President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day
When Chuck Norris first saw the ten commandments written in stone, he was angered that god did not include his name. He then gave Moses a wedgie and karate chopped the Commandments in several peices. Moses snickered as he made off with the real copy, to this day, Chuck Norris will punch anyone who brings up the subject of the the ten commandments in hope that it could be Moses in disguise.
Chuck Norris' case of the crabs is worth 5 million in the Chinese crabbing industry
The role of Alf, from the hit 80's TV show of the same name was actually played by Chuck Norris' penis
Upon reading a fictitious story in his local tabloid, Chuck Norris ripped out the heart of its writer and used his blood to fertilize his lawn. To celebrate, Norris let Steven Seagal out of his cage and beat him mercilessly. Mr. T, who was also present, pitied the shit out of Segal. Norris then fucked your wife, and lit her body on fire using pure grain alcohol and bolts of lightning from his eyes
Okay, on that note, this post is over, more to come though, just you wait.